Hire the perfect bar in West End

Cahoots is a West End bar that seems to want to do it all. Its themes confusingly range from wartime London to trains, to any aesthetic from the 1920s-1950s. Despite this relative lack of thematic clarity, it proves incredibly popular throughout the week. This is, in part, due to the care and attention that goes into the decor and drinks. Expect vintage signage, repurposed tube cartridges, menus on broadsheet papers and a whole lot of booze.

On this: the cocktails are good, if pricey. Two or three should give you a steady buzz, and we recommend the Winston Churchill (if drinking gin, cherry liqueur and guava out of a bust of the famed statesman is your vibe).

The Cahoots project has three spaces – Underground, Ticket Hall and Signal Station – with the two subterranean areas by far being the ones to opt for. Private hire is available for 150 guests, and it would be a great shout for themed parties, work or personal.

Iconic feels like an overused word in the London bar scene. Self-declared icons muddy every back alley of West London, with self-mythologising leaving the average punter more confused than ever.

The original Nightjar is actually pretty iconic. The OG Shoreditch spot is one of the most recognisable speakeasy-style bars in the city, with their extensive cocktail menu and laid-back atmosphere providing the backdrop to countless great first dates.

With that in mind, you can justifiably excited that Nightjar have opened a new venture in Carnaby Street. The imaginatively named Nightjar Carnaby brings its mixological heft to the West End.

Picture the perfect bar. Dim lighting, a low buzz of conversation, drinks in heavy glass, ice melting slowly. That, in a nutshell, is The Blind Pig.

Located above the Social Eating House restaurant, The Blind Pig proclaims itself to bring a 'relaxed, speakeasy vibe' to the first floor of the Poland Street building. We can attest to this. Plush seating is bathed in warm light, leaving plenty of shadows playing across the low-key interior.

Cocktails are the thing to for here. The menu is updated frequently,y often adhering to an overall theme. Though this risks playing into the sphere of the novel, The Blind Pig avoids this by putting genuine care into their concoctions. The most recent music-centric roster is quite a thing to behold: Try a Cure-inspired mix of mezcal, maraschino and charcoal powder – fittingly gothic.

For private hire The Blind Pig can be your own private West End bar, giving ample for space for 65 standing.

Skirting the edge of Seven Dials, at the top of Shaftesbury Avenue, marked by the wisteria-wrapped neon sign, Freud Bar is a gallery, cocktail, and audiophile’s bar in a cellar. The cafe-cum-bar has been around since 1986, and we go there for the cocktails, the regularly updated art exhibited on the walls, and the DJ sets. It’s compact, cool, unfussy, and a top Seven Dials bar worth braving the central London crowds for.

Long live the house party, says the newest addition to the line of Little {insert colour here} Door bars that have been popping up over London the past couple of years.

Joining Soho’s Greek Street this June, Scarlet has had quite the hot girl summer and is showing no signs of slowing down. If you haven’t been to one of the other locations (there’s a Yellow, Blue and Orange Door in the fam), here’s their thing – they do house party vibes, in a kind of secret bar – and it’s great.

Like an actual gaff, when you wander into every room over the two floors you find each is having its own mini-party – you know how it is, bathroom DMCs, smoking area banter, drinking games in the kitchen and dancing in the living room. Dotted around are washing machines, fridges and record players to bring the house, with DJs, disco balls and neon signs adding the party.

The cocktails are TV and movie-themed (yes, ordering the Mad Men will make you feel exactly like Don Draper), with toasties, charcuterie boards and bar snacks for when you get hungry. You can also throw your own exclusive house party and hire out the basement, first-floor open-plan living room and kitchen area, or the whole thing. With no worries of clean-up or noise complaints the next day.

We braved the central London crowds to get to Compagnie des Vins Surnaturels (from here on out it will be referred to as CVS) and would do so again. This wine bar and restaurant in Seven Dials is the epitome of a quaint, snug interior with quirkily patterned modern decor in neutral and jewel tones.

The outdoor seating in Neal’s Yard is the ideal spot for champagne and oysters – truth be told, there are over 400 handpicked wines at CVS, pair any of them with any dish from the menu and you will regret nothing. In fact, you’re likely to order another bottle of wine and more cheese and erase the word ‘regret’ from your vocabulary entirely.

Dalla Terra is on the edge of Seven Dials, conveniently near the Royal Opera House, a proper enoteca where you can enjoy some Italian wine, maybe after attending an Italian opera – how very cultured of you.

The restaurant is modern with warm wood and terracotta tones and the terrace is lovely. With over 30 wines by the glass and 600 wines from Italy and around the world, this is another Seven Dials bar in which you will order several bottles of wine and a couple of pasta dishes, and once again regret nothing. In fact, you’re likely to order cheese too. We don’t know the word ‘regret’ in English or Italian.

Resembling a subterranean tattoo parlour with a crippling addiction to alcohol, The West End's Cocktail Club makes the most of bare wires, neon signs and a full cocktail menu.

It's unassuming, unpretentious and they make a pretty decent reggae rum punch if you don't mind a hit of sweetness. A 2-4-1 Happy Hour (or three) is enforced from 4pm-7pm, which means you can get pretty boozed for cheap before stumbling up the stairs and into the light and blare of London's West End.

Private hire is available for 110 people, making it a great option for work drink events, or a birthday blowout.

Evoking the quaint British seaside of the 1920s, Swingers West End brings Helter Skelters, Ferris wheels and increasingly absurd golf courses to the mania of Oxford Street.

Crazy golf and drinking are strange bedfellows, but it's proven to work: with two London venues, Swingers have tapped into a clear winner with the city's drinkers who are eager for some organised fun. The seaside theme has you negotiating curves, mazes, hillocks a plethora of other miniature land features, with a dramatic feature finish worthy of a Carry On film.

The drinks tend toward the classics, with twist-bearing themed names also making an appearance. The Fairway to Heaven is a standout mix of pink grapefruit gin, apricot brandy and Earl Grey syrup.

Private hire is available across various spaces, with the bar area accommodating 32 standing.

Underground basement bar The Escapologist takes its name from a mythical vagabond Baron. This whimsical fancy continues into the cocktail menu and decor which, depending on the room you’re in, is glittery disco meets David Lynch, with esoteric motifs that evoke 19th-century occultists and secret societies. It’s bizarre, it’s weird, it’s great for private parties if you want to be sequestered into your own strange room or hire the entire place out for a wild occasion.

The Crown is on the corner of Monmouth Street and Short’s Gardens, two of the seven roads that lead to the historic Seven Dials monument. It’s an old-school boozer in a Grade II listed building with honey-brown tiling on the outside and the expected traditional interiors. It attracts a post-work crowd as much as it does tourists.

The Crown is great for a pint if you’re passing through or on your way to the theatre or you need to duck out of the crowded Seven Dials streets. Real ales, English wines, and cold pints, as traditional a pub as any.